Is it really Saturday? Already? Well, it was when I started this post. It's Sunday now.
It seems like just yesterday I made my brother haul my camp stuff into girls' cabin 2. But it was Friday that I hauled it out and yesterday that I returned to Memphis.
It was a good week, but over so quickly. Monday was long -- it always is. Sunday night is spent re-igniting friendships, alliances and rivalries a year dormant. Sunday is spent without much sleep. Monday's pretty much the longest day of camp -- and then it flies entirely too quickly.
The girls were wonderful this year as always. I had several returning for consecutive years, several new ones and some who'd missed a year or two in between. They were incredible, organizing and giving the devos on their own, generally well-behaved, if a little bit talkative. (Okay, a lot bit talkative, but they're teenage girls -- what did I expect?)
The hardest part of the week came Thursday evening at the "senior banquet." The campers who've graduated that school year are honored at a special meal. Someone says a few words about them and then at the end a prayer is led on their behalf. One of my girls, Danielle, had graduated. That morning, while the names were being divvied up, the director asked specifically for "guys who'd be willing to say a few words."
Danielle had been in my cabin for at least 4 years. None of the male counselors knew her that well, so the director wound up with her name.
It bugged me all morning, but why buck? It's a small thing, right? It is, but it didn't just bug me -- it bugged all the female counselors and so I was "elected" to ask about it. Not to challenge it, but just to ask why the ones who spoke at the senior banquet (not a "church" setting) had to be all male.
The reason: because that's the way we've always done it. In the past, there had been a prayer following each "speech" about a senior -- though done by a different counselor from the one who'd spoken. He needed to think about it. Unfortunately, he decided it'd be okay about 15 minutes before it was to happen.
Yes, I could have come up with something off the top of my head to say about Danielle. But the reason I'd wanted to say anything in the first place was because Danielle is important to me. She's been one of "my girls" for years now. She means more than 15 minutes prep time. I declined and he spoke on her behalf.
It was frustrating, but it's over. It was just kind of hard. The director is a great guy, one for whom I have a lot of respect and one to whom I normally enjoy talking. Next year, however, he wants to plan it so that it will be not only possible but also in such a way "that the most conservative person will be happy with it." I think that means I won't be able to mention God, how he's blessed me through these girls or how I pray he'll continue to bless them in the future. Dunno if I'd be allowed to quote/read a Bible verse/passage either.
It's just frustrating: a senior banquet should not be tangled with the discussion of "acceptable roles of women." It only served to remind me that no matter how well I manage to learn this Bible stuff, it'll never bee good enough for anyone to forget the fact that I'm female. For some, my words will always negate the word of God and destroy the body of Christ. And if that's not a good enough reason for me not to preach or teach, I don't know what is. But it doesn't stop the feeling that someone is ripping my guts out.
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3 comments:
For me it was always after Wednesday that the week flew by. Up until then it seemed like Camp was going to never end especially when there was a more troubling situation with a kid or two. Fortunately for me I never had too many problems in my cabin. Yay! I loved Camp! When the kids get older I am hoping to get more involved again.
I really don't understand the whole senior banquet especially since it wasn't even a Church thing or a Sunday thing. But whatever - I am glad that it didn't wreck the time you had with your girls.
Tab
While I know its frustrating, you are changing things, you are making a difference. It may not be all you want but maybe if Danielle comes back to be a counselor, by then it will go without saying that the women counselors will speak on the senior girls behalf and lead a prayer for them. Like Hebrews 11 39These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised. 40God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.
Don't give up. Change takes time.
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